Showing posts with label Average Rating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Average Rating. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

The OTHER 'Maltese Falcon' Adaptations

Most film buffs have at least heard of the 1941 film "The Maltese Falcon" with Humphrey Bogart, Mary Astor, Sidney Greenstreet, and Peter Lorre, Few know that it's a remake of a 1931 picture of the same name, and even fewer know that a third adaptation was released in 1935, titled Satan Met a Lady.

In this post, I review the two lesser-known film adaptations. Both have strength and weaknesses that make them worth checking out.



The Maltese Falcon (1931) (aka "Dangerous Female" and "Woman of the World")
Starring: Ricardo Cortez, Bebe Daniels, Otto Matieson, Dudley Digges, Uma Merkel, J. Farrell MacDonald, and Thelma Todd
Director: Roy Del Ruth
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

After his partner is murdered, private detective Sam Spade (Cortez) finds himself drawn deeper and deeper into involvement with a growing assortment of odd characters, each of whom may be the murderer, as they chase each other in search of the elusive treasure known as the Maltese Falcon.

Ricardo Cortez and Bebe Daniels in "The Maltese Falcoln" (1931)

This review of the 1931 film draws on my experience with both it and the better-known version from 1941 that stars Humphrey Bogart as Sam Spade. If you haven't see the 1941 version, I recommend holding off until you've seen this one. The later adaptation is the superior film, but the 1931 version has its strengths as well. It pales a little in comparison to what is an undisputed masterpiece, but it has some strengths that the other film couldn't possess.

Since both films adapt the same novels, the story lines are mostly the same, as are the characters and their relationships to each other. The films also share the similarity that the characters that come in and out of the story are more fun to try to puzzle out than the intersecting mysteries of murder and treasure hunt.

One very important difference between the films is the nature of the main character, Sam Spade. In the 1941 version, Spade is a dour, snarling man that is being worn down by the world, but in the this one, Spade smiles his way through even the most deadly of encounters, having fun laughing at danger while chasing after everyone with a nice pair of breasts. Where the later picture is film-noirish in its tone, the 1931 version hews closer to the pulp fiction stories in the magazines of the time; they were stories about tough people doing nasty things, but jokes were being cracked and lots of fun was had along the way. The two Sam Spades are the main source of these differences.

Bebe Daniels in "The Maltese Falcoln" (1931)

While Ricardo Cortez is the undisputed star of the film, I think Bebe Daniels (who by the time this film was made had already spent nearly two decades in front of film cameras, enjoying a career that survived not only the transition from child to adult star but also the technological leap from silent to sound films) deserved the top billing she has in this picture. She's a far more effective "mystery woman" than Mary Astor, in no small part due to the fact that there's no dancing around the fact that she uses sex and her good looks as lethal weapons. After having watched Daniels in a number of silent movies she made as a teenager--where she played everything from a loyal girlfriend, to a con-artist, to a girl coyly as much on the make as the film's male lead--it was interesting to see her play a character who is apparently rotten through and through. On many levels, the more overt approach this film has to Sam Spade's womanizing and the sexuality of the film's femme fatale makes the characters more interesting and a little deeper.

For example, the affair that Spade is having with Ida Archer, the wife of his murdered partner, is not just hinted at here; it's out in the open, and it's used more effectively as a plot point and as a looking into the nature of the characters than in the 1941 version. At one point, Spade treats Ida Archer extremely coldly, given the affair, and depending on how you choose to interpret that in the context of when he's doing it, it shows that there's a truly vile human being hiding behind that broad smile, or Spade is just as devious  and calculating as the crooks he is trying to deal with throughout the picture. (Personally, I like to think it's the latter, a notion I'll come back to below.)

I found this to be a very entertaining movie when taken on its own terms. When compared to the 1941 version, the supporting cast can't hold a candle to their counterparts, with the exception of Effie the Secretary; I really enjoyed Uma Merkel. Thelma Todd is more memorable than the Ida Archer in the 1941 version, but that's more because her relationship to Spade is more blatant than anything she does as an actress here.

Bebe Daniels and Ricardo Cortez in "The Maltese Falcon" (1931)

One part of the film that I initially didn't like, but which grew on me as I thought about it, was the final scenes between Spade and the "dangerous female", Wonderly. My initial reaction to the film's wrap-up was that it was another one of those Hollywood insta-romances that have spoiled so many otherwise good movies for me... but then it dawned on me that there was more to the scenes than that. It struck me that those closing interactions between the two characters were a redemption of sorts--their sexual fling had reawakened some of the humanity that they had buried deep within themselves, and despite their natures, they had actually connected on a real and emotional level. Ultimately, it was too late for either character to derive any happiness from this realization, as the many lies and deceptions they engaged obscured their emotions even from themselves. (Cortez's expression when the truth about where he and Wonderly truly stand with one another is probably the best bit of acting he does in the entire film.)



Satan Met a Lady (1936)
Starring: Warren William, Bette Davis, Marie Wilson, Porter Hall, Arthur Treacher, Maynard Holmes, and Alison Skipworth
Director: William Dieterle
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

A womanizing, crooked private eye (William) re-connects with his ex-partner (Hall) in time to start a new scam. Things quickly turn deadly as a woman as corrupt as he is (Davis) draws him into a murderous struggle over an 8th century artifact that legends hold is full of jewels.

Marie Wilson and Warren William in "Satan Met a Lady"

"Satan Met a Lady" is one of three adaptations from Warner Bros. of Dashiell Hammett's "The Maltese Falcon", coming between "The Maltese Falcon" (1931) and "The Maltese Falcon" (1941). It's both the one that's furthest afield from the source material as well as the weakest. The weaknesses don't arise so much from seemingly arbitrary cosmetic changes (the criminal mastermind is a fat woman instead of a fat man, the treasure-stuffed McGuffin is a drinking horn instead of a falcon sculpture, the Sam Spade character is named Ted Shane, and so on), but from the characters and even some of the characterizations and the fact that this is either a comedy that's for the most part unfunny, or a mystery that's not terribly engaging..

The biggest problem with "Satan Met a Lady" is its 'hero', Ted Shayne (played by Warren William). Shayne is a man with absolutely no redeeming qualities--he's self-centered, arrogant, lazy, completely untrustworthy, and not half as witty as he thinks he is, and nowhere near as charming and handsome as the script makes all the ladies in the film think he is. Shayne such an unpleasant character that my favorite part of the film is the ending, which I won't comment on, because it'll spoil some of the few truly good minutes of the film.

It's a shame that the script isn't better--with either sharpened comedy or dramatic tension, and with more sensible reactions from most of the female characters, and at least one redeeming quality given to Shayne--because every cast member makes a fine accounting of themselves, given the shoddy material they are working with. 

Warren William and Bette Davis in "Satan Met a Lady"

William and Bette Davis are especially fun to watch together, since we have two perfectly cast actors, playing two equally vicious characters who recognize each other as the villains they are, and who know that each is just looking for a chance to mess with the other. If the script had been better, I suspect these scenes could have been absolutely brilliant.

As for "Satan Met a Lady", it's not a terrible film... it's just not very good. It's not going out of your way for. However, it's included in the three-disc Special Edition of The Maltese Falcon, together with the two good versions. In that case, it's an inoffensive "bonus" feature that you save for that day when you've got nothing else to watch.


You can get all three versions "The Maltese Falcon" and some great bonus features in the two-disc set The Matese Falcon: Special Edition. It's a great value, and I think it's a set any lover of classic mystery movies will enjoy.

Monday, October 26, 2020

Good film dragged down by one character

Scoop (2006)
Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Hugh Jackman, Woody Allen, and Ian McShane
Director: Woody Allen
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Sondra (Johansson), a bubble-headed journalism student, is contacted by the ghost of recently deceased journalist Joe Strombel (McShane). He wants her to write the scoop he didn't have a chance to: That the dashing and handsome man-about-town Peter Lyman (Jackman) is actually a serial killer. With the help of a third-rate magician (Allen), Sondra goes about getting close to Lyman in order to gather the evidence needed to prove Strombel's accusation from beyond the grave, and get her scoop of a lifetime. But what will Sondra do once she starts falling in love with Lyman?


"Scoop" is a lightweight mystery comedy. The mystery isn't really much of a mystery, and the comedy is of a type that will make you smile rather than laugh.

The characters are, for the most part, well enough acted and the story moves along in a straight-forward fashion, unburdened by a desire on the part of the writer/director to show off his cleverness by throwing in either painfully predictable "twists", or developments that are completely unsupported by the plot. Allen avoids the very thing that dooms many movies of this type that are being made by younger, hipper filmmakers. My hat is off to him for not trying to make this movie seem any deeper than it is, but simply letting it stand as the plain little movie that it is.

I am also impressed by the way that an element of the film that bothered me at the beginning turned out to be one that I very much enjoyed by the end. There are scenes of characters on board Charon's barge as it crosses into the Afterlife, and the first couple of times Allen cut to this mystical scene, I was irritated, because I didn't feel it fit the nature of the film, despite the fact thee's a ghost popping in and out of the story. I felt it was too much of a fantasy element for a film that is, basically, grounded in the modern, everyday world.

However, by the end of the film, Allen pays off the River Styx scenes to the point where, looking back, they're probably the funnest part of the film.

One thing that isn't as fun is the character Allen plays in the film. His character is so socially awkward and downright dumb that it's painfully embarrassing to watch him attempt to mingle at the parties Sondra drags him to in her quest for dirt on Peter Lyman. It also doesn't help anything that there doesn't seem to be a connection between Allen and Johansson on screen--yes, they are delivering lines from the same script on the same set, but there's no sense that either actor is really paying attention to what the other actor is saying or doing. There's no spark between the two and the comedic timing of every scene they have together is likewise off.

(It's tempting to say that Allen has "lost it" now that he's in his 70s, but this isn't so. He does fine in his scene with McShane, and he's okay when interacting with bit players and even Jackman... there simply seems to be something absent between him and Johansson. However, Allen must be happy with the result, because Johannsson starred in at least one more Allen production.)

I think anyone who enjoys watching the lighthearted mysteries from the 1930s and 1940s will get a kick out of "Scoop". Those out there looking for a film with "twists" or lots of sex and violence are going to be bored. (Although Johansson fiills out a swimsuit quite nicely.)





Thursday, December 4, 2014

Gay porn + Hitler = Murder (and Hilarity)

Loose Cannons (1990) 
Starring: Gene Hackman, Dan Ackroyd, Dom DeLuise, Nancy Travis, and Ronnie Cox
Director: Bob Clark
Rating: Six of Ten Stars 

A hardboiled vice-squad detective (Hackman) is teamed with a not-quite-recovered-from-a-mental-breakdown homicide detective (Ackroyd) to solve a series of bizarre murders linked to the Washington DC porn industry.

 As their investigation unfolds, a plot involving neo-Nazi hitmen, Israeli spies, the German government, and overzealous FBI agents starts unfolding. Solving the case becomes even more complicated as one of the chief witnesses and target for the assassins (DeLuise) is still hoping to cash in on the secret item everyone is after--a hardcore gay porn home-movie featuring Adolf Hitler himself!



How can anyone not like a movie that revolves around the hunt for a vintage homemade gay porn film starring Adolf Hitler? Well, I suppose if you're offended by the idea of Hitler filming himself while romping with fellow Nazis you might not like it... but then you're a terrible human being who deserves to feel offended.

 "Loose Cannons" is a fun ride in the "buddy" picture mold, with some nice twists on the typical "hardboiled cop" character portrayed by Hackman. A worthwhile flick, despite several instances of characters behaving in a stupid fashion to make the plot work.

Friday, March 29, 2013

A quirky rom-com bookended by spy action

Treasure Hunt (1994)
Starring: Chow Yun Fat, Chien-lien Wu, Gordon Liu, Philip Kwok, Michael Wong, and Roy Chiao
Director: Jeffrey Lau
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A CIA agent (Yun Fat) is sent covertly to China to steal a mysterious device (a Chinese "national treasure") that is being hidden by the government at a monastery. Once there, he discovers the device is actually a lonely young woman (Wu) with extraordinary psychic powers. His mission is quickly threatened by his growing love for her and by double-agents within the CIA


."Treasure Hunt" is an unevenly paced romantic comedy crossed with a spy-themed action thriller. It starts and ends with gun-play and violence, but the middle section weaves its way through gags revolving around Chinese vs. American culture and romantic scenes that range from sappy to hilariously cute, as CIA agent Chang Ching rediscovers and land and traditions of his ancestors and doubts about his loyalties start to creep into his mind.

While I I think shaving about 10 minutes off the middle of the film with some careful trimming would have done all manner of good, this is the sort of film that shows why Yun Fat has been called China's Cary Grant by a number of critics. He's handsome and a talented, versatile actor who seems at home in just about any genre of picture he is called upon to appear in--and even in a picture that shifts gears and genres as it unfolds, he is perfect. He is charming, charismatic and likable, so it's perfectly believable that a young woman would fall quickly in love with him... but he can also come across as absolutely cold and ruthless as he does in the film's final scenes. And he is equally convincing as charmer or killer--and he never loses the viewer's affinity for his character.

In "Treasure Hunt," Yun Fat also benefits from the strong cast of co-stars and supporting actors he's working with here. Co-star Chien-lien Wu doesn't have much to do for much of the film except to seem demure, but once her character gets a little more active, she shines equally bright as Yun Fat and the pair of them make a quite-literally magical romantic chase scene in the film's too-long middle section a lot of fun.

I think ultimately, "Treasure Hunt" falls into the 'Chick Flick' category, but I think it's a Chick Flick that guys will be able to enjoy as well.


Thursday, August 23, 2012

Even Chuck Norris grows old....

The President's Man (2000)
Starring: Chuck Norris, Dylan Neal, Soon-Tek Oh, Jennifer Tung, Ralph Waite, and Marla Adams
Director: Eric Norris and Michael Preece
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Joshua McCord (Norris), the latest man to fill the position of the most secret of secret service agents--an operative who is at the President's personal disposal to carry out missions that are so sensitive that no one else can ever know about them--finds that he is growing too old for the job. He hand-picks his successor (Neal), but he has barely started to train him before his apprentice must rescue the First Lady (Adams) from a group of shadowy terrorists with ties to McCord's past.


"The President's Man" was a successful attempt at making a made-for-TV movie in the vein of a James Bond film before they went COMPLETELY gadget happy... but on a fraction of the budget a Bond movie gets. It's a fun romp, featuring decent performances by the entire cast and a script that doesn't embarrass anyone too badly with clunky lines. Chuck Norris fans in will find plenty to cheer about, as, although he plays an agent who is on the verge of retirement and in theory isn't the main character, he has a couple of over-the-top action scenes of the kind that gave rise to the never-ending stream of Chuck Norris jokes.

You probably noted that I said above that Norris in theory isn't the main character in the film. That should be Sgt. Deke Slater, the apprentice President's Man. Unfortunately, Dylan Neal's main talent seems to be striking poses and mugging at the camera rather than playing a role with any sort of charisma. He has had a long and busy career, but he remains an unimpressive pretty boy in my opinion... especially when he's surrounded by charismatic performers like Norris, Jennifer Tung, and, last but far from least, one of television's most talented Asian character actors Soon Tek-Oh, in one of his last major roles as he career started to wind down. Neal simply can't measure up and as such, actors who should be supporting him--like Norris and Soon--end up outshining him whenever they share scenes. (The role of Slater got recast for the sequel.)

All-in-all, though, this is an enjoyable flick, especially if you like Chuck Norris and Soon Tek-Oh. It's also a demonstration of how Norris managed his career better than poor Steven Seagal. If Seagal had acknowledged the passage of time and tried to phase himself out as an action star, maybe he could have retired with grace instead of as an object of mockery.


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

'The Mechanic' remake falls short of the original

Well, "The Expendables Week 2" didn't really get off the ground, especially since I haven't even had the time to see "The Expendables 2" yet... but I'll be posting reviews of films featuring the cast of the latest assembly of Action Movie Greats for the next few days anyway. Hell... Life might even cooperate to the point where I'll get to see the Big Movie this Thursday.

But first....

The Mechanic (2011)
Starring: Jason Statham, Ben Foster, Tony Goldwyn, and Donald Sutherland
Director: Simon West
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Bishop (Statham), ohe world's foremost assassins, is tasked with killing his long-time friend and handler (Sutherland) after it appears he has betrayed their employer. Bishop reluctantly performs the hit and then, motivated partly by guilt, takes on the friend's son (Foster) as an apprentice hit-man, teaching him the tricks of the trade.


The deep regard in which I hold the 1972 "The Mechanic", of which this is a remake, may be coloring my estimation of this film.

From beginning to end, this film is fairly solid. It's well-paced, the action scenes are all well-staged, the effects are nicely done (including the computer-generated blood-splatter... I only noticed it because I've developed a bad habit of looking for it; kudos to West and his special effects crew for being among the few filmmakers to know how to use that kind of CG effect properly on the screen), and the actors pretty much all deliver the type and quality of performances that we expect from them for the parts they are playing in a film like this.

Everything here is adequate... unless you have the misfortune of having seen the 1978 "The Mechanic." Then, you have the sense that you're watching a pale imitation based on a dumbed-down version of the original story.

It's not that Jason Statham is bad as assassin Arthur Bishop--it's just that his version doesn't come close to touching the icy cool of Charles Bronson's portrayal. It's not that Ben Foster is bad as Steve, the apprentice assassin--it's just that Jean-Michael Vincent made you so want to punch him in the face over and over. It's not that Donald Sutherland was bad as McKenna--it's that Keenan Wynn was dead-on perfect for the role as the doomed fixer.

And it might be that all the actors in the remake of "The Mechanic" would have come off better if the script they were working with had been as intelligent as the one in the original--it's as if they decided to trade flash for substance when they set about to make this version--and if the direction, cinematography, and editing would have been as perfectly artistic as in the original instead of just serviceable as it is here.

Finally, the filmmakers here manage to screw up the perfect ending of the original, muting whatever might have remained of the original film's tale about two violent men in a violent business.

If you're a Jason Statham fan, I'm sure you'll like this movie. It is very entertaining, and Statham does his usual solid job. However, if you want to see a more intelligent (if less action-packed) film about hitmen and the dangerous, amoral roads they travel, you need to check out the original.


Friday, June 29, 2012

Fun mystery marred by shaky script and acting

Dogs in Quicksand (1999)
Starring: Mike Trippiedi, Anne Shapland Kearns, Mina Willis, Susan Muirhead, Sue Trippiedi, John Tilford, Steven M. Keen, and Bill Yauch
Director: Mike Trippiedi
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

When Mitch's (Mike Trippiedi) slutty secretary Darla (Muirhead) is found murdered with Mitch's tie around her neck and a used condom with Ray's (Tilford) semen in the trash, the intertwined lives of a group of small-town friends and business associates come unraveled and dark, hidden evils are exposed.



"Dogs in Quicksand" is a fascinating movie. It starts out with four apparently unrelated story threads that eventually come together to form a complicated who-dunnit sex comedy murder mystery that, while plagued by clunky dialogue and even worse acting, holds your interest thanks to the quirky characters that parade through the story. Each and everyone of them is having some sort of affair with one or more of the others, except for Mitch, who ls faithful to his psychotically jealous wife (Kearns), and everyone had opportunity and motive to kill Darla.

The most charming part of this movie is that it almost feels like it could have been written by Agatha Christie if she had been born in this century and focused her stories on small-town America instead of small-town Great Britain. I found myself reminded of Christie at several points during the film. Of course, the twist toward the end is probably not quite one that she would have written, although she did come close a couple of times.

The biggest problem this movie has is the acting. Everything else is a little above average for this kind of low-budget, shot-on-video, direct-to-DVD sort of producton. The acting swings wildly from the competent performances from Mike Trippiedi, Willis (who does an excellent turn as a hooker with a heart, so long as you give her $200), and Keen (a dying lawyer and friend to Mitch); to the approriately hammy Kearns; through the flat what-we-expect-from-a-borderline-pro production of Sue Trippiedi and Yauch; to the god-awful, someone-forgot-to-tell-him-it's-a-movie-so-he-doesn't-have-to-play-to-the-backrows-in-the-theatre Tilford. Tilford is so bad that he almost ruins this movie by himself... not only is he shouting every line, but he's doing it with a lameness that would get him booed off the stage in the tiniest of community theatres.

The mix of good, bad, and mediocre acting gives a very uneven feel to this film, which otherwise is pretty consistent in its level of quality. If you enjoy films with quirky characters, who-dunnits, and mild sex comedies, you may get a kick out of "Dogs in Quicksand", despite it's rough spots. I know I did.




Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Sherlock Holmes goes over the top

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)
Starring: Robert Downey Jr, Jude Law, Noomi Rapace, Jared Harris, and Kelly Reilly
Director: Guy Ritchie
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson (Downey and Law)track and fight anarchists and Holmes' nemesis Professor Moriarity (Harris) across Europe in a desperate bid to stop them from triggering war on a global scale.


"Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows" picks up where the Downey and Law's first outing as Arthur Conan Doyle's legendary characters left off and carries forward along the trajectory of that first movie--the action is wilder and well over the top, and the scope of what's at stake if Moriarity bests Holmes has likewise been ratcheted up. Basically, if you hated the first movie because you felt it wasn't "Sherlock Holmes", you're going to hate this one.

Me, I hated the first movie, because director Guy Richie didn't seem able to tell a story, which is odd because he seemed pretty good at it with his early films like "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels". And then there was the moronic way he and the script-writers chose to establish Holmes' prowess as a boxer and thus showed Holmes to be a bit of dolt at the same time--which he possessed in the Doyle stories, as those who paid attention to them rather than old Universal Pictures films or British TV shows would know--and the painful overuse of slow motion action sequences.

While Richie still made an obnoxious overuse of both slow motion and still-frame shots during action sequences, his story-telling was a little less muddled because the story really wasn't all that complicated and he didn't inadvertently paint Holmes as an idiot by having him engage in self-destructive behaviors beyond what we're used to from the Doyle stories and other films.

The acting was serviceable all around, and neither Holmes nor Watson were the exclusive butt of jokes; like the first Downey/Law pairing, one can actually understand why Holmes keeps Watson around... although I did find myself wondering sometimes why Watson puts up with Holmes. The comedy in the film was balanced nicely with action sequences, and it a very entertaining movie over all.

It is, however, an action film and not a mystery movie. There is really no mystery that Holmes is trying to unravel, but he is instead trying to outmaneuver Moriarty and the evil genius' master plan. The exact nature of that plan is hidden for a time, but it's not really relevant what Moriarity is up to when it comes right down to it. All in all, it's a film that is probably more entertaining if you watch it with the attitude you might watch a Jean Claude Van Damme vehicle, or maybe a James Bond movie.

"Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows" is a rare sequel that's better than the film it follows. But if you want "classic Holmes", you're better off with almost any of the Holmes' films I've written about here.

Monday, September 19, 2011

'Blackbeard' is an okay pirate yarn

Blackbeard (2006)
Starring: Angus McFadyen, Marc Umbers, Jessica Chastain, Anthony Green, Richard Chamberlain, and Rachel Ward
Director: Kevin Connor
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Lt. Robert Maynard of British Royal Naval (Umbers) is dispatched to the Caribbean on a secret mission to hunt the feared and murderous pirate Blackbeard (McFadyen). His mission and burgeoning romance with the lovely Charlotte Ormand (Chastain) is disrupted when the corrupt colonial governor and ally of Blackbeard (Chamberlain) attempts to assassinate Maynard. Through a chain of misunderstandings, the officer finds himself accepted into Blackbeard's crew and ends up helping the pirate with his obsessive search for the legendary lost treasure of Captain Kidd.


If you're looking for a fun traditional pirate adventure tale that you can watch with the whole family, "Blackbeard" is a good choice. Originally made for the Hallmark Channel as a two-part miniseries, it has a well-paced script with just the right mix of action, romance, intrigue, cannon-fire, and swashbuckling pirate antics to please just about any viewer. The cast is also excellent, with Angus McFadyen in particular excelling as the ruthless title character. The even mix of fictional events and historical facts might make it dangerous if you're trying to use it as a shortcut for a school paper, but as a piece of entertainment is pretty good.

Although a good deal of money and effort went into the sets and costuming, this is one area where the film slips a little. Everything and everyone is just a little too clean and fresh. A little more time should have been spent on "aging" costumes and sets, and the actors should have been a little grimier and sweatier than any of them are. The lower-budgeted pirate films from Hammer Studios forty years earlier and even Alfred Hitchcock's "Jamaica Inn" from more than sixty years earlier did a better job at creating a believable 18th century environment than the production designers, costumers, and set-dressers on "Blackbeard" managed to do.



Sunday, August 28, 2011

'Four Robbers' is a worth stealing
(but only worth paying for if its cheap)

Four Robbers (1987)
Starring: Charlie Cho, Feng Ku, and Hon Shek
Director: Gam Loi Sung
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Four ruthless criminals from the Chinese mainland make it big in Hong Kong by violently robbing organized crime figures. They are soon find themselves in a maze of deceit and betrayal, as both the underworld and the law hunt them.

"Four Robbers" has the makings of a decent low-budget action film with several nicely staged gun battles. However, it is done in by the director's seeming inability to know when to end a scene; there are very few in the film that don't so much end as drag to painful conclusions. The plot is also somewhat over-complicated with one major development being completely nonsensical and the very definition of "doing something the hard way".

There are also several elements give rise to unintended comedy, first and foremost of these being the humorless, sanctimonious leader of the four robbers who frequently prattles on about responsibility, honor and paying his own debts while planning robberies and murders. This character would be utterly laughable if not for the fact that the actor who plays him is the only performer in the film who displays any real screen presence and for the way that he follows through on his prattle when he has to rescue his fellow robbers from the Thai police. (Even if that rescue becomes unintentionally funny as well.)

And then there's the dubbing. It's actually rather well done as far as the lines matching the action and making some degree of sense, but many of the voices are so goofy that one has to wonder what the director of the voice actors must have been thinking. (My guess is, "let's cover the fact that we've got three male actors and one woman doing voices for 10-15 recurring characters." The voices for the Thai police officers are especially hilarious.)

"Four Robbers" may be one of hundreds of mediocre Hong Kong action films, and as such, it's one you can probably safely ignore. It doesn't seem to be available on DVD anywhere but in the "Martial Arts 50 Movie Pack", and when taken as part of that package, it's inoffensive filler. In fact, for the right buyer, it might even be a plus, as it's got just the right mix of flaws, unintended comedy, and silly voice acting to make it a good candidate for a Bad Movie Night.



Saturday, June 25, 2011

'Law Abiding Citizen' is fun in a pulp fiction way

Law Abiding Citizen (2009)
Starring: Jamie Foxx, Gerald Butler, Colm Meany, Bruce McGill, and Leslie Bibb
Director: F. Gary Gray
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Ten years after his wife and daughter are brutally murdered, a man (Butler) embarks on a flashy killing spree to extract vengeance not only on the killers, but also on the ambitious district attorney who let his concern over conviction rates supersede the pursuit of justice (Foxx) and on the entire court system. However, even after he has been caught and put in isolation in a maximum security prison, the murders continue in ever-more brutal and elaborate ways.


"Law Abiding Citizen" has its starting point in a world that feels like it could be the one just outside your window and across town where the lawyers hang out. The place where movies like "Runaway Jury", "The Star Chamber" and "Presumed Innocent" takes place. As the film progresses, its world evolves into that inhabited by the characters of Liam Neeson and Jean Claude Van Damme movies. As the film is making its transition from a courtroom-dramaesque movie into a full-blown, pulp fiction-flavored thriller with a mysterious, unstoppable killer bent on taking out the city's leading citizens, it feels a bit shaky and it becomes hard to suspend one's disbelief, but once you're in the world of remote control murders, the film is fun again.

An interesting aspect of the film is that the character we're supposed to be sympathetic toward really isn't such a nice guy. Much of the mayhem in the film comes about because he was more concerned about his career prospects as advancing as a prosecutor than seeing justice done for the brutal rape and murder of a man's wife and little daughter. Jamie Foxx's character clearly accepted a plea bargain for one of the killer/rapists primarily because he was concerned first and foremost about his conviction rate. It's hard to like this character within the context of the movie... especially when he constantly comes across as a sanctimonious hypocrite without much to balance that out. Similarly, the other character for whom we might be able to feel some sympathy toward. the widower father who feels the system has let him down, is psychopathic terrorist who is ultimately far worse than the scum who took away his family. When it comes right down to it, this is a film where our sympathies lie with the poor saps getting mowed down as a result of what these two men do. That is another reason the film feels unstable and directionless in the middle, because without a clear set of genre conventions to guide our expectations, and without a main character to root for and/or hate more than the opposing force arrayed against him, one can't help but feel there might be better ways to spend your time.

Ultimately, once the film settles into its cartoonish universe of self-centered prosecutors (who somehow still manage to not neglect their families much) and vigilante terrorists with not only the desire but also the means and skill to threaten the political and judicial class of a major American city, it turns out to be fun ride, with a far-fetched mystery plot to work out as it progresses.

Nothing here is terribly brilliant writing-, directing- or cinematography-wise, the most engaging performances are actually provided by the supporting cast--if this wasn't the case, perhaps I would have felt more for the main characters than I did--and the ending will only work for you if you were able to follow the movie from a grounded world to one of criminal masterminds and super spies. Otherwise, you will probably have something of a sour taste in your mouth as the end credits start to roll, and you will find yourself wondering if anyone knew what point they were trying to make with this movie.


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Not terribly good, but still compelling

The Kidnapping of the President (1980)
Starring: William Shatner, Hal Holbrook, Miguel Fernandes, and Van Johnson
Director: George Mendeluk
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

The President of the United States (Holbrook) is kidnapped by a psychotic South American professional revolutionary (Fernandes) and held for ransom inside an booby-trapped armored truck full of explosives. It's up to a gun-shy Secret Service agent (Shatner), haunted by the memory of the Kennedy assassination, to figure out a way to save him.


"The Kidnapping of the President" is one of those movies that's saved by its cast. The plot is forced, the dialogue is universally awful, and the ending is all but spoiled by the director trying to ring some forced and very artificial suspense out of the final few moments.

Despite all the flaws, this is a film you watch because the actors in it as so likable and good. Hal Holbrook takes the character of President Adam Scott, who is written like an arrogant blow-hard, and gives him charm and likability. Shatner takes the Secret Service agent Jerry O'Conner, who is written like a borderline whiner, and infuses him with an air of resolve and toughness. Because of the performances by these two actors, the film's flaws seem to fade and you become interested in seeing how it will all turn out.

Van Johnson and Eva Gardner also do their best to bring life to a pointless subplot involving the corrupt Vice President and his shrewish wife. For what they had to work with, they do a decent job, but it really is an element the that added very little to the film. (They got this part of the political thriller aspect right in "Air Force One", another "the president is kidnapped by terrorists" movie... and perhaps one that learned from the mistakes of those that came before? Instead of delving into the background of the Vice President and his questionable morals and henpecked homelife, the filmmakers should have focused on the political mechanisms that kick in when the President is under threat.

If you like light-weight political thrillers, especially if you're a fan of William Shatner or Hal Holbrook, this is a movie worth checking out.



Saturday, March 26, 2011

'Red Riding' is a moody mystery

Red Riding: In the Year of Our Lord 1974 (2009)
Starring: Andrew Garfield, Rebecca Hall, Anthony Flanagan, Sean Bean, David Morrissey, and John Henshaw
Director: Julian Jarrold
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A rookie crime beat reporter (Garfield) tries to discover the identity of a serial killer preying on little girls in Yorkshire, but in the process runs headlong into a dangerous and far-reaching conspiracy involving corrupt police officers, a ruthless real estate developer (Bean), and perhaps even the mother of one of the victims (Hall).


Rarely have so many great performances been featured in a film so intense and stylish added up to so little. By the time the 100 minutes of "Red Riding" have run their course, you'll have witnessed one of film history's most incompetent journalist-detectives blunder his way through a twisted maze of perversion and corruption, solve the case, kinda-sorta see justice done... and you'll find yourself wondering, "Is that it?"

Given that this is the first part in a three-part series based on a true story of a serial killer that terrorized Yorkshire in the 1970s and 1980s--and some conspiracy theorists hold that the killer may still be at large.

Based on this movie, one can easily buy into that conspiracy as the Yorkshire in "Red Riding" makes Chicago look like Mayberry by comparison. Everyone with the smallest scrap of power is tied to a corrupt political machine, and anyone who tries to challenge that machine ends up discredited or dead. In the end, it's a somewhat depressing movie, because the over-arcing message is that "evil always wins".

Part of why evil wins in this film is because good is so damn stupid. The erstwhile hero of the film is both cowardly and lazy, which makes him a very realistic character but it also makes for frustrating viewing. He makes the wrong choice at every single opportunity and ultimately becomes part of the very cover-up he is trying to unravel. Although it's probably a good thing for the series of movies that he--if not for the real-life victims of the Yorkshire Ripper--because the corrupt cops and politicians and business people in this film aren't much smarter. With the way they carry on in this film, and the messes they leave behind, their goose would have been cooked long before whatever ultimate solution will be offered to the central mystery of this film in the third film, "Red Riding: In the Year of Our Lord 1983". Unless, of course, Yorkshire really does make Chicago look like Mayberry by comparison.

While you may feel a little frustration at the stupidity of the reporter hero of this film, it is worth watching for the great acting. Sean Bean in particular puts on a good show as a menacing real estate tycoon who may or may not entertain himself on the weekends by kidnapping and murdering little girls and sewing swan wings on their backs.

At the very least, the film serves as a nice stage-setting for the next chapter in the series, which I will be watching and reviewing shortly.




Saturday, February 19, 2011

'Unknown' is worth exploring on the cheap

Unknown (2011)
Starring: Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, January Jones, Bruno Ganz, Aiden Quinn, and Frank Langella
Director: Jaume Collet-Serra
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

While in Berlin for a scientific conference, Dr. Martin Harris (Neeson) wakes up after a serious car accident to find a stranger has assumed his life in every detail, even apparently the affections of his wife (Jones). Martin turns to the only witness of the accident he can find (Kruger) and a retired East German spy (Ganz) for help in proving he really is who he says he is. And that's when the assassins start stalking him and killing everyone he makes contact with....


"Unknown" is one of those movies it's hard to talk about without ruining the whole thing, because it relies on plot twists and secrets for its effectiveness. Without spoiling too much, I can say that the story is sort of a cross between the 1956 version of "The Man Who Knew Too Much" and the 1938 version of "The Lady Vanishes", except in this case it's the main character who has, basically, vanished and he has to pick his way through a deadly cloud of lies and violent spies. The twists and reversals as the film unfolds sets it apart from those two Hitchcock classics, but I think if you enjoyed those films, you'll be entertained by this one as well.

Overall, the film is well-paced and it's revelations are timed appropriately to keep the story going. There's a car chase in the middle of the film that is extremely ridiculous as it's unfolding--suddenly, a university researcher and biologist is able to drive a stick-shift in a fashion that most racecar- and stunt drivers envious--but once all the pieces of the puzzle have been revealed--it makes sense. It's a weak point of the film that just a few lines of dialogue between Martin and his wife at the beginning of the film could have dealt with and the film would have been better for it.

The film would also have been better if the director had been a little less in love with shaky-cam footage, jump-cuts, and extreme close-ups during action sequences. I'm there are viewers out there for whom such techniques make the film more exciting--why else would so many directors over-use them as severely as they do?--but for me they become very, very annoying when used in excess like they are here. Give me Hitchcock's nice steady shots any day over the Alcoholic Monkey with the DTs technique on display in so many scenes, as well as the ADD editing style. Admittedly, it's not as bad here as in some movies, but it's enough to get annoying.

Despite its flaws, "Unknown" still emerges as an entertaining thriller. Just see it at a matinee, or go on days when the popcorn is cheap. Or, better yet, wait three months for the DVD to be available. You'll be more satisfied, because you won't feel like you've wasted money.


Saturday, February 12, 2011

'Into the Blue' gives viewers what they want

Into the Blue (2005)
Starring: Paul Walker, Jessica Alba, Josh Brolin, Ashley Scott, and Scott Caan
Director: John Stockwell
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A pair of semi-pro treasure hunters (Alba and Walker) living the easy life in the Bahamas stumble upon the sunken wreck of a historic sailing ship. They also discover the wreck of a small airplane which contains a fortune in drugs, and this makes them targets of the drug smugglers who want to recover their wares.


I think I liked this movie better when I saw it as "The Deep". I recall being more impressed with the acting and the story than I was with this film, but then admittedly I was 10 or so years old and I haven't seen it since. So, maybe my memory is a bit hazy--and my memory of the Carmine Infantino-illustrated graphic novel adaptation is a bit stronger than that I have of the movie--but I remember finding the underwater action very exciting in both formats, as well as genuinely fearing for the heroes.

With "Into the Blue", I never really cared about any of the characters, and the only actor I found at all remarkable was Josh Brolin as the obnoxious, seasoned and well-funded rival to the pretty young main characters. The film also held no surprises as it unfolded, other than the memories it invoked of my youthful excitement over "The Deep".

That said, the film does move at fast enough a pace that you barely have time to realize that it is absolutely predictable at every turn. It also sports some gorgeous photography both on-land and under-seas, and several well-executed underwater action scenes... and that's ultimately what the film is about. Did anyone REALLY see this movie for anything but the eye-candy?

"Into the Blue" is entertaining enough, but not worth going out of your way for. If you want a beautiful film focusing on attractive skin-diving treasure-hunters, I think you might be better off checking out the "The Deep" starring Nick Nolte and Jacqueline Bissett. (Athough I can imagine someone writing a variation on those words some 40 years from now: "'Raiders of the Deep' is pretty to look at, but it doesn't hold a candle to my memory of 'Into the Blue', a movie I saw when I was 10 years old.")

I will have to get my hands on a copy of "The Deep" to see if I'm being unfair to this movie or not....



Thursday, February 3, 2011

Bruce Lee explodes with 'Fists of Fury'

Fists of Fury (aka "The Big Boss") (1971)
Starring: Bruce Lee, James Tien, Maria Yi, Ying-Chieh Han, and Tso Chen
Director: Wei Lo
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Country-boy Cheng (Lee) travels to the city to live with relatives and to take a job at an ice factory. But the business is a front for vicious drug smugglers, and when his friends and family start to run afoul their evil, Cheng must choose to join them or fight them. Either choice will cost him dearly.

"Fists of Fury" is the of four films that legendary actor and martial artist Bruce Lee made in Hong Kong, and it's the one that made him an international super-star. While some parts of the film haven't weathered the passage of four decades since its release very well, one can still understand why it was such a big hit in its day. One can also enjoy it tremendously if one likes well-crafted martial arts films.

First, the film's modern setting would have been a startling change of pace for movie audiences as this was the first martial arts film to be set in modern times. Secondly, the film presents a number of surprising twists as it unfolds, not the least of which is the surprising death of a major supporting character who was neck-in-neck with Lee's character to be the film's main hero... not to mention the shocking massacre of virtually every other supporting character as the film heads toward its climax, as well as the climax itself (which is one of the most successfully executed downer endings I've ever witnessed in an action movie). Finally, there are the two set-piece martial arts battles of the film that remain thrilling to this day... fight sequences that are equally good showcases for Bruce Lee's fighting skills and his charm as an actor.

Speaking of Bruce Lee's acting skills and charm, they are both what carry the film through its slow first half, particularly during the clumsy attempts at levity and/or scenes designed to show the camaraderie between the factory workers that probably were unique to the 1970s audiences who were used to martial arts melodramas set during various historical periods in China but who had never experienced one taking place "down the street". Lee outshines everyone he shares the screen with, with the exception of James Tien. Tien shared Lee's good looks and on-screen radiance, so they are believable as buddies during the film's early part. (Tien would go onto appear in Lee's other Hong Kong movies as well.)

Lee's acting skills are also what makes the film's climax so moving and effective. As brutal and shocking as the violence in the fights at the factory and on the lawn in front of the Big Boss's house are, it is the way Lee effective portrays the shock that gives way to rage when he discovers the dual secrets of the ice factory, followed by the horror when he later realizes that he had only seen the tiniest sliver of the Big Boss's depravity. The sense of resignation and defeat in victory that Lee exudes during the film's final moments also demonstrate strongly how tragic it was that he was to die a mere two years later with much promise unfulfilled.


Saturday, January 29, 2011

'City Hunter' is a quirky Chan vehicle

City Hunter (1992)
Starring: Jackie Chan, Chingmy Yua, Joey Wang, Kumiko Goto, and Richard Norton
Director: Jing Wong
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

"City Hunter" was adapted from a Japanese comic book and animated series of the same name... and it shows! The actors do the kind of double-takes, gestures, and poses that one expects to see in a "manga" or "anime." This adds greatly to the hilarity of the film.


The story revolves around private eye Ryu Saeba (Jackie Chan) who is hired to track down a run-away heiress (Yua). He ends up on a luxury liner, trapped between his jealous secretary/partner (Wang), the attractive heiress, a sexy gun-toting female agent (Goto), and a group of terrorists bent on capturing the ship and holding the passengers for ransom. And all Ryu wants is a bite to eat, because he made the mistake of skipping breakfast!

If you typically pick up Jackie Chan movies for the amazing stunts, this might not be the film for you; there really isn't much of that kind of action until the climactic scenes. It might also not be the film for you if you like your action free of random comedy and out-of-left field musical production numbers. However, if you have an appreciation for slap-stick and absurd screwball comedies, I recommend this flick highly!


Tuesday, January 18, 2011

'Blood Money' is well done, but run-of-the-mill

Blood Money (aka "The Arrangement" (1999)
Starring: Michael Ironside, Currie Graham, Lori Petty, Richard Riehle, Bill Dow, Paul Coeur, and George Buza
Director: Michael Ironside
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Two police detectives (Graham and Ironside) must protect a stripper (Petty) who is the only living witness in a brutal murder from killers brazen enough to murder a police officer within a Federal courthouse. Meanwhile, a shadowy figure working with the assassins is betraying them from within the police department.



"Blood Money" collects nearly every police drama cliche you care to mention between its opening and closing credits, so if you're a fan of hardbitten renegade cops pining for their dead wives, obnoxious Federal agents feuding with the local police, flamboyant gangsters, and police captains who go around shouting at anyone and everything, then this movie is for you. You'll even get all your favorite bits presented straight, with no twists or mockery. The only cliche not present is the young and idealistic cop who is at odds with his partner and/or has his idealism shattered by the events of the story; while Currie Graham does play a younger parter to Michael Ironside's grizzled veteran, he is not a rookie but is an experienced detective who is a fine and sensible match for the man he's working with.

The performances in the film are in keeping with the straight forward material, with the actors portraying figures more than characters. Ironside, Graham, and Reihle are all fine in their roles as cop cliches, while Lori Petty is decent as the typical "feisty stripper who shares a secret past with one of the cops" character. (That said, I'm not sure she was the best choice for the part; I like Petty as an actress, but she doesn't play scared or hysterical very well, and this part called on her to do both. And she didn't quite rise to the occassion.)

All in all, this is an entertaining, if unspectacular, film, not unlike the late-night cable cop dramas from the 1980s and 1990s. That's really all you need to know to decide if it's worth your time or not.





Trivia: This film was Michael Ironside's directorial debut. It is also the only film he's directed so far.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

'Terror of the Tongs': Yellow Peril ala Hammer

The Terror of the Tongs (aka "Terror of the Hatchet Men") (1961)
Starring: Geoffrey Toone, Christopher Lee, Roger Delgado, and Yvonne Monlaur
Director: Anthony Bushell
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

After his daughter is killed by vicious members of Hong Kong's Red Dragon Tong, Captain Sale (Toone) goes on a rampage intent on destroying his daughter's killer and entirety of the secretive crime syndicate.


"The Terror of the Tong" is a well-made example of an adventure fiction sub-genre that has fallen completely out of favor due to changing climates in geo-politics and cultural attitudes in the West: Yellow Peril Tales. In these stories, mysterious Asian crime figures held entire populations in their power through fear and supposedly mystical abilities... until some two-fisted, stiff-necked Anglo-American hero came along and put a stop to his nefarious ways. The genre was dying its last gasp when I was a kid--relegated mostly to awful Kung Fu movies and comic books where Nick Fury battled the Yellow Claw, Iron Man squared off against The Mandarin, and Shang Chi fought a dogged battle to bring down the criminal empire of his father, Fu Manchu, the most famous and respectable of all Yellow Peril villains.

The Yellow Peril tales grew out of the same impulses that gave birth to the gothic fiction genre--a British discomfort and perhaps even fear of outsiders and their alien culture, and was further fueled by straight-forward racism among Americans--although, frankly, aside from the WW2 years, many Yellow Peril tales actually put Westerners in as bad a light as their Oriental foes. This is especially true of the Fu Manchu tales.

That, however, is not the case with "The Terror of the Tongs". The Chinese gangsters in this picture are vicious psychopaths through-and-through, with no motivations beyond feeding their own sadism and hunger for loot and power. Although evil, Fu Manchu at least believed he was fighting the good fight to restore his people's honor and save them from the corrupting influences of the West.

A curious artifact of film industry standards long gone is the fact that most of the Asian characters in the film are played by Caucasian actors in heavy make-up. It was a long-standing tradition to have whites play these roles in Yellow Peril movies, something which seems a bit odd to many viewers today, and which has been mocked in more recent times with Peter Sellars and Nicolas Cage both taking comedic turns as Fu Manchu.


In this film, Christopher Lee plays Chung King, the head of the Red Dragon Tong. He does a great job sitting around looking sinister and spouting weird sayings and sending out opium- and sex-crazed killers to slay his enemies and terrorize city neighborhoods. Roger Delgado is similarly excellent as a Eurasian who serves as Lee's top lieutenant. Wisely, the director has neither of these actors put on fake accents, instead allowing them to speak the Queen's English perfectly and thus taking advantage of the full capacity of both actors to bombastically sinister.

Meanwhile, on the good side of the equation, we have are treated to some fine performances by Geoffrey Toone, the bullish sea captain who prove that the British stiff upper-lip can be backed up with a strong right hook, and Yvonne Monlaur, another Eurasian character for whom the brave captain opens horizons free from the servitude to the Tong her mixed blood had forced upon her.

None of these characters are exactly complex, but the actors give each of them their all and infuse them with the larger-than-life quality that this sort of story needs to work.

Director Anthony Bushell also tries his best to bring that sense of grandness to the film's sound-stage bound environment, with the Hong Kong docks and neighborhoods being represented by re-dressed standing sets left over from other Hammer productions. While he mostly fails at this, he does manage to draw some very sharp lines between the villains and heroes, and he also manages to work in some of the horror qualities that we've come to know and love from movies like "Curse of Frankenstein".

Unfortunately, that horror was blunted, and remains so to this very day; the DVD edition appears to have been made from a print of the film that has been butchered by censors. There are numerous time when fight scenes or other scenes of violence have been sloppily edited, to the point where even the music soundtrack seems to jerk. The worst example of this is the scene where Tong thugs invade the bedroom of Captain Sales' daughter; there seem to be at least two instances where the scene was too intense for censors, and their cuts have left the scene disjointed and a little confused. (The implication is that the Tong cut off three of the girl's fingers, as is their habit, but as it plays out, she is struggling one moment and completely unconscious a split-second later, with no apparent cause. And yet somehow her ring is dropped on the floor and stained with blood...)

Still, this is a fairly minor blemish, and it's more than made up for with the climax where the down-trodden citizens rise up against the Tong. And, as mentioned, Christopher Lee is quite good in the film. He would later go onto play the grandest of Oriental villains--Fu Manchu--but he is actually better here than he was in the Fu Manchu movies I've seen. (Of course, I've only seen a couple craptacular Harry Towers/Jess Franco ones, so maybe I'm not judging him fairly.)





For more examples of the Yellow Peril genre, click here to read film reviews at Shades of Grey.

Friday, December 10, 2010

'Do You Like Hitchcock?'; if your answer is 'yes',
you're better off not seeing this film

Do You Like Hitchcock? (2005)
Starring: Elio Germano, Ivan Morales, Elisabetta Rocchetti, and Chiara Conti
Director: Dario Argento
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

A film student (Germano) with voyeuristic tendencies finds his world turning into a real-life mash-up of classic Hitchcock thrillers when the shrewish woman in the apartment across the street is murdered and he suspects her daughter (Rocchetti) made arrangements with another girl to "swap murders"--each of them having perfect alibis for when the person they wanted dead was killed, while they aren't suspects because they have no motive for the murders they did commit.


"Do You Like Hitchcock?" is Dario Argento, after 30 years of disavowing the label "The Italian Hitchcock," demonstrating that he is indeed NOT the Italian Hitchcock and that he is barely capable of emulating Hitchcock.

In fact, I think it's safe to say that if Dario Argento is the Italian Alfred Hitchcock, then Uwe Boll is the German Terence Fisher.

Made for Italian television as the first installment in an eight film series that paid homage to Alfred Hitchcock, "Do You Like Hitchcock?" incorporates and outright lifts elements primarily from Hitchcock thrillers "Rear Window" and "Strangers on a Train". Argento also pays homage to Argento by swiping from his own earlier films, primarily "Deep Red", but there's a bit of "Cat of Nine Tails" in the mix here as well. Unfortunately, Argento is unable to conjure up the energy that crackled through Hitchcock's movies, nor is he capable of creating that easy mix of suspense and humor (if not outright absurdity) that Hitchcock did. When he tries, all he comes up with is an embarrassing and over-long sequence where our hero tries to escape on his scooter after breaking his leg during a peeping-tom adventure gone bad. The only vaguely suspenseful bit in the film comes at the end, when, in "Rear Window" fashion, our hero watches his girl friend risk running head-long into the killer. A roof top encounter that ends with a nod to "Vertigo" is also very nicely done.

I've seen this film referred to both as a "homage" or "sly tribute" to Hitchcock. I suppose it could be considered either. The descriptors I would use are "vapid pastiche"; it's not exactly bad, but it isn't all that good. I might even go so far as to say that Argento seemed more interested in paying homage to himself than Hitchcock, as exemplified by the fact the neighborhood video store was plastered with posters for other Argento movies and the aforementioned echoes of other Argento films in this picture.

As for the technical aspects of the film, the tone is consistent throughout, even if that tone is more drab that thrilling, and the acting seems to be pretty decent. It's hard to tell, because we're dealing with not just the Italian actors but New Zealander (I think) voice actors doing the English dubbing. That crew wasn't the best I've come across, but the screen presence of the leads still shine through.

The script itself is just solid enough that it passes muster as a low-average thriller. It might even have worked a little better if extraneous side characters such as our hero's mother and new boy friend had been excised, and if the writer and director had actually managed to capture that Hitchcock feel, but it's interesting enough.

If you like Hitchcock, you can spend your time better than watching this movie. Allow me to recommend "Charade", which is the best Hitchcock movie that Hitchcock never made. Other good choices would be the homages/spoofs "The Girl Who Knew Too Much" from Mario Bava and "High Anxiety" from Mel Brooks, two directors who seemed to have a far better understanding of what made Hitchcock movies work that Argento does. Or, even better, check out some of Hitchcock's great black and white movies you may not have seen, like "Strangers on a Train".