'The Last Boy Scout' is decent Buddy Flick

The Last Boy Scout (1991)
Starring: Bruce Willis, Damon Wayans, Danielle Harris, Noble Willingham, Bruce McGill, and Halle Berry
Director: Tony Scott
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Privvate detective Joe Hallenbeck (Willis) and his partner Mike (McGill) are hired to protect a stripper named Cory (Berry). When Mike is murdered in a car-bombing, and Cory is gunned down in the street, Joe teams up with Corey's boyfriend, a former pro-football player named Dix (Wayans) to uncover the reasons behind the killings. What they discover is that there is deep-seated corruption that infests both local politics and professional sports... and that the deaths of Mike and Corey are only the beginning.


"The Last Boy Scout" is a decent action movie with a script that has better dialogue than most, a superb cast, and a nice selection of subplots that humanize our heroes without slowing down the movie. Fans of the principle stars--Willis and Wayans--will enjoy their performances in this movie. General action fans should find it to their liking as well.

Given the love Hollywood has for sequels, I'm a bit surprised that we didn't get "The Last Boy Scout 2". The end of the film seems to beg for one, and it would be a lot easier to pull off than the sequels to "Die Hard".

Double Feature: The Miss Congeniality Saga

During the early 2000s, Sandra Bullock starred two movies as Gracie Hart, an FBI agent who went undercover as a beauty queen. Like the "Speed" movies in the 1990s, Sandra Bullock starred in one excellent film and then signed up for a sequel that was nowhere near as good. In this post, I review both of the "Miss Congeniality" films.



Miss Congeniality (2000)
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Benjamin Bratt, Michael Cain, Heather Burns, and William Shatner
Director: Donald Petrie
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

When an unknown madman threatens a beauty pagent, life-long tomboy FBI Agent Gracie Hart (Bullock) must master all the feminine graces and go undercover as a pageant participant to unmask the killer.

"Miss Congeniality" is a funny fish-out-of-water comedy, with the standard theme of characters who have their preconceived notions of each other (and even themselves) challenged and emerge at the end of the story having learned valuable lessons and gained a deeper understanding of themselves and everyone around them.


In the case of Gracie, she learns to embrace a part of herself that she's denied since she was a girl, and she learns to respect the hopes and dreams of those who might not want the same things she does. It's actually a rather touching transformation that the character undergoes, and it's a testament to Bullock's acting ability that Gracie comes across like a three-dimensional character in a movie that is otherwise populated with outrageous stereotypes and excuses for slapstick comedy. (And speaking of slap-stick, Bullock also displays a great talent for physical comedy in this film.)

Although Bullock is definately the star of the film, she is ably assisted by her co-stars and supporting players, all of whom put in excellent comedic performances (with the exception of Benjamin Bratt, who is the films only straight man... but he fills that role admirable). Bergen and Shatner are particularly fun as a pair of aging pageant organizers, and Caine is fantastic as the beauty expert tapped by the FBI to infuse Gracie with some grace.

"Miss Congeniality" is definately a comedy that's worth seeing.



Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (2005)
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Regina King, Enrique Murciano, William Shatner, and Heather Burns
Director: John Pasquin
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

In "Miss Congeniality 2", Gracie Hart (Bullock), too famous for fieldwork after her adventure with the beauty pageant, and with slightly more refined manners, is tapped to be the FBI's "celebrity face". With her romantic life coming unglued for reasons she can't understand, she throws herself completely into the life of an empty-headed PR flack. But then two of the friends she made during the pageant caper (Shatner and Burns) are kidnapped, so she flies to Las Vegas in an unauthorized attempt to rescue them.


As much as I loved "Miss Congeniality", I find very little to recommend the sequel. The biggest problem is that everything that made Gracie Hart a likable and sympathetic character in the first film are absent for most of the sequel, because she spends most of the story playing at being someone she is not. It doesn't help matters that her new partner (King) is just plain obnoxious and completely devoid of any interesting character qualities.

With Bullock playing someone who is playing a lame character, we're left with the supporting cast for most of the laughs in the movie. Shatner and Burns (who spend most of the film tied up in a little shack) are very, very funny, and they're worth two of the tomatoes I gave the film. Likewise, Murchiano (best known for deadpan, ultra-serious performances on the crime drama "Without A Trace"), as a nebbish FBI Agent who learns to stand up for himself once Gracie rediscovers who she is, displays some fine comedic talent. However, everyone has limited material to work with, as the story is very flimsy.

I think all the performers do the best with what they have to work with, but it just isn't enough. The film has no heart, but just feels like a string of badly told, fairly tired jokes. Worse, Bullock and the Gracie Hart character are so badly wasted that this film almost makes one forget what was so charming and fun about the original "Miss Congeniality."

An Analytical Double Feature

Analyze This (1998)
Starring: Billy Crystal, Robert De Niro, and Lisa Kudrow
Director: Harold Ramis
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Billy Crystal stars as a successful psychiatrist whose life is turned upside down (not to mention endangered) when a hardboiled mob-boss (Robert deNiro) seeks him out for treatment of depression.


This movie is fun to watch as a spoof on mob films, and the way that Crystal and DeNiro's characters both learn about themselves as a result of their assocation is also a worthwhile element of the film. However, there is just a little too much crammed into the script, so some events seem to move too fast, and some supporting characters don't get enough exposure to bring their roles fully into focus.



Analyze That (2002)
Starring: Billy Crystal, Robert De Niro, and Lisa Kudrow
Director: Harold Ramis
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Billy Crystal, Robert Deniro, and the supporting cast all reprise their roles from Analyze This in this sequel of a rare breed... it's actually funnier than the original!

The story picks up a few years after the end of "Analyze This," as Crystal's character is called upon to cure reformed mob boss Paul Vitti (DeNiro) of an apparent mental breakdown and then help ease him into normal society as a law-abiding citizen. Can a nebbish psychiatrist reform a life-long criminal?


This is less of a mob-spoof than the orignal, and more about Vitti's attempt to extracate himself from his mob life and the interplay between Crystal and Deniro's characters. The film also features some funny self-referencial bits about Hollywood "mob realism" and a nicely done "caper" crime as Vitti seemingly returns to criminal life. On the downside, "Analyze That" suffers from some of the script weaknesses as its precessor--some elements and characters are annoyingly under-developed.

Steven Seagal is... the REAL Iron Chef!

Under Seige (1992)
Starring: Steven Seagal, Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Busey, Colm Meany, and Erika Eleniak
Director: Andrew Davis
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

When a US Navy battleship and its nuclear weapons are stolen by terrorists and their ex-CIA leader (Jones), only former Navy SEAL Casey Ryback turned ships' cook (Seagal) to stop them and save the day.


"Under Seige" is a film that I love--and which many cite as Seagal's very best--but the "world's deadliest, crankiest cook" character that he plays here makes me smile every time I consider it.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, because it's played up as a gag in the film, too. All-in-all, this film has a lighter touch than most Seagal movies, even if the action is fast and furious, the violence brutal, and the stakes very high--Ryback is up against crazy people with nukes at their disposal.

"Under Seige" is a fun action film with a clever script, good fight scenes, and appropriately dastardly villains. Tommy Lee Jones is particularly great fun to watch, and he and Seagal have a nice interplay in what scenes they have together.

As many jokes as this film gives rise to, it is one that fans of action movies owe it to themselves to see. It's an excellent film and everyone involved with it was at the top of their game.

Double Feature: Tales of Jimmy the Tulip

The Whole Nine Yards (2000)
Starring: Matthew Perry, Bruce Willis, Amanda Peet, Natasha Henstridge, Roseanna Arquette, Michael Clarke Duncan and Kevin Pollack
Director: Jonathan Lynn
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

When Oz (Perry), a hapless nice-guy dentist caught in a loveless marriage to an uber-bitch wife (Arquette), befriends his new next door neighbor Jimmy (Willis), his life is transformed overnight. Suddenly, he is surrounded by killers, femme fatales, and revenge-hungry Hungarian gangsters.


"The Whole Nine Yards" is a movie that's part screwball comedy, part romantic comedy, part heist story, part crime drama, and a whole lot of hilarity. It's a movie full of likable characters with a charming air about it that reminded me of a number of comedies or light-hearted mysteries from the 1930s and 1940s (such as "Slightly Honorable", "Half a Sinner", "His Girl Friday", and "Bringing Up Baby", even if the stakes and body count are far higher here than in any of those movies). Matthew Perry's performance in particular reminded me of the hapless,clumsy heroes featured in those sorts of movies. I can't think of anyone who has been able to be goofy and do pratfall after pratfall yet still maintain a sort of dignity like Perry does in this film since Cary Grant.

The fun of this movie is found partly in its twisting and turning story--which sees two major, very well executed major reversals of audience expectations without losing even a tiny of momentum of as it keeps building toward not one but two dramatic and well-done endings--but also in its cast of charming characters presented by perfectly cast actors.

Bruce Willis gives perhaps the most versatile and surprising performance in the entire movie. He plays Jimmy the Tulip, a self-centered, greedy contract killer and Willis projects exactly the sort of menace that you'd expect such a character to exude. At the same time--literally, in more than one scene--he also projects a level of charm and likability that makes you wish he was your next door neighbor. Amanda Peet's character is much the same; she plays the most likable and lovable sociopath I've ever seen in any movie. Their casual, jovial approach to the business of murder is offset by the calm grace of Natasha Henstridge who plays a classic femme fatale. (And, of course, Matthew Perry's Everyman character provies a solid foundation for the other performances, as he stumbles and pratfalls his way through the ever-thickening and deadly plot while giving voice to the sense of horror and outrage the audience should be feeling if they weren't so busy laughing.)

This a very cool comedy that features a stellar cast at their best. I recommend it highly. (And I think I may have to reevaluate my opinion of Matthew Perry. I'd only ever seen him before in the two or three episodes of "Friends" I'd tried to sit through. He's obviously far more talented than anything that was on display there.)



The Whole Ten Yards (2004)
Starring: Matthew Perry, Bruce Willis, Amanda Peet, Kevin Pollack, Natasha Henstridge, and Tasha Smith
Director: Howard Deutch
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

Two years after successfully hoodwinking organized crime and authorities to let murderous lovebirds Jimmy and Jill (Willis and Peet), the past comes back to haunt nebbish dentist Oz (Perry) and his gun moll wife (Henstridge) when she is kidnapped by Hungarian gangsters in search of revenge. Oz turns to Jimmy for help, making a bad situation worse and starting a series of events that grow increasingly strange and evermore deadly.


"The Whole Ten Yards" is a clumsily named sequel to one of the best mob comedies ever filmed. It's also so clumsily executed that it will be hard to follow if you haven't seen the film it's a sequel to, "The Whole Nine Yards", because it assumes complete knowledge of the main characters and the events that brought them together in the first place.

Unfortunately, if you saw "The Whole Nine Yards", all you'll take a way from this movie is disappointment. The jokes are mostly lame, the charming sides of Perry, Willis' and Peet's characters that made the first movie so enjoyable is nowhere to be seen here--and even Perry's physical comedy and spittakes seem tired and forced here. Worse, the suspense that mixed easily with the comedy in the original film has been replaced with badly mounted attempts at absurd humor. (Perhaps these differences are the mark of a film helmed by a talented director versus one that isn't?)

Rating a very low 4, "The Whole Ten Yards" is a great disappointment considering the excellence of the film it follows and the great cast that reprised their parts that has nothing of what made the first movie worth watching (including Amanda Peet's naked breasts).

Bullock is damaged cop in 'Murder by Numbers'

Murder By Numbers (2002)
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Gosling, and Michael Pitt
Director: Barbet Shroeder
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A pair of sociopathic teenagers (Gosling and Pitt) plan and commit the perfect murder, but their carefully made plans threaten to unravel when homicide detective Cassie Merriweather (Bullock), driven by personal demons, refuses to accept the too-pat solution to the case. Will a detective on the brink of a nervous breakdown find the guilty parties behind a perfectly staged crime?


The only really good part about this film is Bullock. The script is rather weak and predictable--I've seen a "Jane Doe" episode on the Hallmark Channel that held more suspense than "Murder By Numbers"--and one is left wondering why the Gosling and Pitt characters seem to be liked by anyone at their school they're so creepy and repulsive. Both also give uninteresting and completely flat performances, although that is the case of everyone in the film, except Bullock.

This movie shows that Bullock really CAN act, as she more than once displays some very subtle emotional shifts with nothing but facial expressions. What's more, she really plays against the kind of character she is usually cast as... Cassie Merriweather may once have been the girl next door, but a terrible secret in her past changed that long ago. It's a shame that the movie she is giving such a fine performance in really isn't all that good.

"Murder By Numbers" is a so-so police procedural mystery flick that isn't much better or worse than your standard made-for-basic-cable movie. It's almost perfectly bland... not so bad to be offensive, but not so good to be noteworthy. Bullock turns in a good performance, but that's the film's only standout element.

Connery is Bond one last time... and he rules!

Never Say Never Again (1983)
Starring: Sean Connery, Max von Sydow, Barbara Carerra, Klaus Maria Brandauer, Kim Bassinger, Bernie Casey and Alec McCowen
Director: Irvin Kershner
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

An aging James Bond (Connery) returns to field-agent work when SPECTRE's leader Blofeld (Von Sydow) resurfaces and steals two nuclear warheads.


"Never Say Never Again" is one of those rare times when the movie-going public actually came out ahead as a result of a legal battle between producers. This movie came about because of a settlement relating to the film rights to Ian Fleming's James Bond character, and, while it's a remake of "Thunderball" and not part of the official James Bond movie canon, it's actually a pretty good Bond film. At least if you enjoy classic Bond... if you're a fan of the Daniel Craig movies, you might not like it that much.

Connery's final performance as James Bond (a decade after he swore he'd never play the character again) isn't quite up to "Goldfinger" or "Diamonds Are Forever", but it's still quite good. The mix of humor and coldbloodness that marked Connery's Bond, however, is here in full force and it helps the film immensely.

What also helps the film is Max Von Sydow's Blofeld. It's too bad he didn't play the character in a "real" Bond movie, because he is the best Blofeld save Charles Gray.

And there's the gorgeous Barbara Carerra, who plays one of the very best and sexiest femme fatales to appear in any Bond movie. She was an actress I wanted to see more of in this film, in every sense of that phrase.

For a different take on James Bond, you're better off checking out "Never Say Never Again" than those Daniel Craig films, particularly if you're an old coot who enjoyed "Goldfinger", "From Russia With Love" and "Diamonds are Forever".






(The illo in this post was "borrowed" from the Illustrated 007 blog; it was the poster for the Thai release of "Never Say Never Again," and I LOVE those collage-style poster/cover images! Click here to check out more great James Bond-related artwork.;

'Firewall' is predictable and run-of-the-mill

Firewall (2005)
Starring: Harrison Ford, Paul Bettany, Virginia Madsen, Mary Lynn Rajskup, and Robert Patrick
Director: Richard Loncraine
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Computer security expert Jack Stansfield (Ford) must help a group of brutal bank robbers help rob the bank he works for if he is to see his family alive again.


"Firewall" is a straight-forward thriller of the "Everyman is blackmailed and threatened by bad guys, until he finally fights back and wins the day"-variety. There's nothing here that hasn't really been done in other films, but it uses its various tropes and plot pieces effectively and it keeps the tension up and the story moving at a fast clip.

The best part about this movie is that it is so straight-forward; it's downright refreshing to watch a movie where the creators don't feel an urge to throw in badly executed and ill-conceived "surprise developments" and "shocking twists."

I recommend "Firewall" if you want to see a good, old-fashioned thriller with a solid cast and a decent (but not overly original) script.

'The Glimmer Man' is beginning of end for Seagal

The Glimmer Man (1996)
Starring: Steven Seagal, Keenan Ivory Wayans, Bob Gunton, and Johnny Strong
Director: John Gray
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

A Bhuddist New York City homicide detective with a mysterious past (Seagal) and his street-smart, wise-cracking Los Angeles counterpart (Wayans) form an uneasy partnership as they persue a serial killer known as the Family Man, because he viciously butchers entire households.


"The Glimmer Man" is a film with a "Lethal Weapons" vibe that also anticipates the "Rush Hour" films with its structure and mixture of martial arts and (partially racially based) humor. Unfortunately, it's dragged down by jokes that simpy aren't funny, action sequences that leave alot to be desired, and lead characters that are just too close to being cliched carticatures to be enjoyable. To make it a perfect storm of crapitude, the film also has an unneccesarily complex script into which the writer apparently felt obligated to draw every single bad guy and sinister organization that you'd expect to find in an action flick from the late 1980s and early 1990s--street gangs, organized crime, serial killers, the CIA, FBI... probalby even the PTA if you look close enough. Too many players in the story cause it to be a muddled mess beyond the writer's meager talen to control.

It's actually a shame that the script isn't better, because this is the last movie where we'll see Steven Seagal in full fighting trim. He has a couple of okay fight scenes, and he actually doesn't do that bad a job with what he has to work with. The same is partially true about Wayans, although while Seagal's character shows the occassional twinkle of charm, Wayans character is just obnoxious from the get-go, and never rises above that state.

"The Glimmer Man" is the demarcation line between the Mostly Good Seagal Movies and the Mostly Crappy Seagal Movies. It's a point beyond which you should not pass if you want to remember when he still had a shot at a respectable acting career.

A heart is heart of the case in 'Blood Work'

Blood Work (2002)
Starring: Clint Eastwood, Jeff Daniels, Wanda De Jesus, Anjelica Huston, and Paul Rodriquez
Director: Clint Eastwood
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Retired FBI serial killer profiler Terry McCaleb (Eastwood) is still recovering from a heart transplant, when he learns that his new heart belonged to a murder victim who may have been killed specifically so McCaleb could get a new heart. At the risk of his health, and very life, he sets about trying to solve the mystery.


"Blood Work" is a fairly predictable crime thriller that slips to the low end of average by a plot and characters that move more slowly than the observant audience member when it comes to solving the mystery of the film on the one hand, and that on the other takes some fairly spectacular leaps of logic that will leave those who like playing along with the detective going "Huh?! How did he get THAT conclusion?"

It is further hampered by a typical, utterly unbelievable Hollywood-type "old man scores with hot chick"-type sexual encounter. (Wanda De Jesus' character must have been REALLY hard up to want to hop in the sack with craggy old McCaleb... or just really, REALLY slutty.)

The acting is pretty good, and there's some very creative and effective photography and lighting in the film, but most other elements needed to make it a worthwhile picture are substandard. The end result is a film that's okay, but not worth going out of your way for.

Sherlock Holmes as action hero

Sherlock Holmes (2009)
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Rachel McAdams, Mark Stone, Eddie Marsan, William Houston and Kelly Reilly
Director: Guy Ritchie
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Sherlock Holmes (Downey) and his sometimes-reluctant colleague Dr. Watson (Law) most solve the mystery of a Satanist (Stone) who has seemingly returned from the dead to continue a killing spree. Meanwhile, Holmes old adversary and lover Irene Adler (McAdams) has reappeared on the scene with a mysterious agenda of her own.


The most famous of all consulting detectives gets the big budget, CGI-generated "stunts" action movie treatment in a film with actors who give far better performances than this flabby movie probably deserved.

Some reviewers have been upset by the "action movie" feel this film has, even commenting that Holmes shouldn't be an action hero. I don't quite agree with that sentiment, as Holmes always seemed like a man of action and quite willing to resort to violence when necessary. What annoys me is the pointlessness of much of the action and some of the stupidity of it.

I don't know whether it's the gigantic budget he had to work with here, or whether he's devolved as a director over the past ten years, but Guy Ritchie seemed to have a far better sense for how to make an exciting movie when he did "Snatch" and "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" in the late 1990s.

The flow of the movie, and therefore the attention to the viewer, is repeatedly disrupted by pointless side treks and plot detours, such as a long sequence with Holmes in a boxing match (a very stupid thing for a genius like Holmes to engage in, even if he is a thrill-seeker), or one where he is tricked by Irene Adler and ends up handcuffed and naked in bed (an scene mostly there for a single feeble gag). These irrelevancies might not be so bad if they added some definition to the characters, but the traits shown in these scenes are already introduced and reinforced in other far more relevant and important scenes, making the filler material like the above-mentioned sequences that much more annoying and boring. The end result is that the film has a flabby, drawn-out feeling to it.

Then there's the asinine slow-motion and absolutely annoying jerky/blurry camera work during the action scenes. It's not artistic, it doesn't enhance the suspense... it's just irritating and stupid.

The script is also not all it could have been. I've already mentioned pointless scenes, but a far bigger problem is the case that Holmes is working on. It's so much that he is squaring off against what seems to be a supernatural menace (even if that is more in keeping with Doyle's non-Holmes tales than this one) it's that the bad guys are of the "trying to take over the world" variety. What's next for Holmes at this point? Battling Professor Moriarty after he teams up with Ming the Merciless to conquer the Universe? A smaller, perhaps even more petty, motivation for the villains would have been far more suitable.

It's too bad this film wasn't helmed by a more competent director and based on a more solid script, because the approach taken by both the script and the actors to the characters of Holmes and Watson feels very much in keeping with the stories from which they originally sprang. While the nature of the adventure is pretty far removed from anything Doyle included in the Holmes stories, but Downey and Law portray a Holmes and a Watson that I think Doyle probably would have appreciated. They are far better than the celebrated team of Basil Rathbone & Nigel Bruce, slightly better than Jeremy Brett & Edward Hardwicke, and standing nearly equal with my favorite on-screen Holmes & Watson team of Peter Cushing & Andre Morrell.


All in all, file this Holmes version with the Hammer "The Hound of the Baskervilles" starring Cushing and Morrell. It gets the characters right, it's very entertaining, but the storyline is a bit far from Conan Doyle. Not as far as some of the Basil Rathbone films, but pretty far nonetheless.

'Tightrope' sees Eastwood asa more three-dimensional hardnosed cop

Tightrope (1984)
Starring: Clint Eastwood, Genevieve Bujold, Dan Heydeya and Alison Eastwood
Director: Richard Tuggle
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

When New Orleans homicide detective Wes Block (Eastwood) is assigned to investigate a series of killings in the seamier side of the French Quarter, he discovers that the killer is preying not just on female sex workers but on the darker side of Block's own nature.


"Tightrope" is a fabulous movie. It unfolds like a classic film-noir detective story, and while I think it was a tad too slowly paced at times, it still managed to keep my interest throughout. The most fascinating part of the movie, however, is the character of Wes Block. It's probably one of the most fully rounded, completely realized, and utterly believable characters to ever appear in a detective flick. While the hunt for the serial killer that drives the movie is interesting, the real heart of the film resides with Block, his two daughters (one of which is played by Eastwood's real-life daughter Alison, who displays much talent at a young age), and the one decent woman he hooks up with while investigating the crimes (Bujold).

This is a different sort of Clint Eastwood crime drama, about a different sort of detective. It's a film that all lovers of police dramas should see.