Cary Grant heads 'North by Northwest'

North by Northwest (1959)
Starring: Cary Grant, Eva Marie Saint, and James Mason
Director: Alfred Hitchcock
Rating: Ten of Ten Stars

When ad executive Roger Thornhill (Grant) is mistakenly identified by foreign spies as an elusive American agent, he finds himself framed for murder and on the run for his life, hunted by an ever-present foe (Mason) for reasons he doesn't understand. He eventually attempts to turn his situation back on his tormentors and discover the true identity of the spy they've mistaken him for, with the help of enigmatic beauty, Eve Kendell (Saint).


"North by Northwest" is perhaps the greatest thriller ever made, and I think it's quite possibly the very best movie Alfred Hitchcock directed; it's tied with "Young and Innocent" as my favorite Hitchcock film. It's got a fantastic cast--with Grant, as the hapless hero, and Mason. as the ultra-polished, James-Bondian bad guy, Vandamm shining brightest--a perfectly paced script that moves from one complication to another, from one breathtaking chase to another with roller coaster-like ups and downs and whip-lash turns; brilliant camera-work and editing; and one of the most fabulous scores ever written for cinema.

The use of sound in the film is also incredibly impressive. The cropduster scene (perhaps the most famous sequence from any Hitchcock film) is as impactful as it is because of the strategic use of sound (or, more accurately, the use of silence).

Modern filmmakers and writers should study this film carefully. They'll notice that the KISS principle is best when it comes to effective thrillers, and they'll also perhaps see what real witty dialogue sounds like. Lovers of thrillers and spy movies should also seek it out if they haven't seen it yet. It truly is a classic, and it is a movie that deserves to be seen again and again.

'Goldfinger' is Bond at his greatest

Goldfinger (1964)
Starring: Sean Connery, Gert Frobe, and Honor Blackman
Director: Guy Hamilton
Rating: Ten of Ten Stars

British secret agent James Bond (Connery) is sent to investigate suspicious dealings of megalomanical billionaire Auric Goldfinger (Frobe). Bond uncovers that Goldfinger is involved in criminal activity on a far grander scale than anyone had suspected in their wildest nightmares.


"Goldfinger" is the James Bond movie that set the standard for all the (good) James Bond movies that followed. It was the first to introduce wild gadgetry and a tongue-in-cheek tone, which took the series and character away from its Ian Fleming roots, but gave the series the elements that have sustained it for over 40 years.

This is also the best James Bond movie so far, and it features one my all-time favorite movie exchanges...

Bond (strapped to a table, while a laserbeam is slowly moving into position to slice him in half): Do you expect me to talk?

Goldfinger (with a laugh, as he walks away): No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.

It's perhaps the only time in the entire series where the inflappable Mr. Bond was in genuine fear for his life, and Goldfinger still stands as the classiest, coldest Bond villian of them all. He also had the best sidekicks, from pilot Pussy Galore to Oddjob (he of the lethal bowler hat). From the opening titles through the final (and surprising) deadly encounter between Bond and the bad guys, every thing in this film works perfectly. The cast is fabulous, the pacing is flawless, and the John Barry/Monte Norman soundtrack still stands as one of the very best Bond scores.

They keep the gritty, depressing James Bond reboot that has been inflicted upon the movie going public. I'll stick with the classics.

'The Order' isn't one you need to order

The Order (aka "Jihad Warrior") (2001)
Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Sofia Milos, Sasson Gabai, Vernon Dobtcheff, Ben Cross Brian Thompson and Charlton Heston
Director: Sheldon Lettich
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

An internationally infamous art thief (Van Damme) must team up with an Israeli cop (Milos)--who is presumably infamous for always wearing her uniform buttoned down to the middle of her chest--to rescue his father from the clutches of a crazed religious leader (Thompson) who is bent on bringing about Armageddon.


While watching this film, be as excited as Van Damme and Milos look to be in the picture above. The film has a paper-thin plot with most of the characters being driven by weak motivations (or by nothing but plot dictates and Stupid Character Syndrom), and all the action and fight scenes being ineptly photographed, badly edited and perhaps even under-rehearsed.

The paper-thin plot and weak characters can be forgiven, I suppose, but the inept handling of the fight scenes cannot. With the exception a fight during the heist that opens the film, every fight has a cheap and amateurish feel to it, with too many cuts and close-ups of the action to really seeing what's going on and entirely too much use of slow-motion of Van Damme jumping or kicking. It screams either of an attempt to cover of badly rehearsed fights or of a director and cinematographer who didn't know how to film martial arts action. The many chase scenes are handled pretty well--with the exception of a motorcycle sequence that is filmed and edited so badly that it positively screams, "Look! Stunt Double driving instead of Van Damme!" This ineptitude carries through straight to the big final battle between Van Damme and the religious crazy, bringing the film to a close on a low note that is only made worse at a misfired attempt at a humorous denouement.

For all the films faults, the actors do as good a job as can be expected with the material they are working with. Van Damme is charming and funny while Sofia Milos wears that half-unbuttoned police uniform like few others have ever worn half-unbuttoned police uniforms before. Charlton Heston's extended cameo is badly written, but he does a good job with it and the same is true of supporting cast members Ben Cross and Brian Thompson. Their parts are horribly written, but they are appropriately sinister.

The backdrop of Jerusalem is also interesting, especially the way the film demonstrates during a foot chase how wildly different communities that are hostile to each other exist in very tight quarters, with Van Damme fleeing from secular police to the protection of Hasedic Jews and then finds himself being stared down by hostile Muslims, all over the space of just a few minutes.

That said, the film is a letdown in all areas that really matter when we are sitting down to watch a Jean Claude Van Damme film. It ranks among his weakest efforts to date.

'The Last Boy Scout' is decent Buddy Flick

The Last Boy Scout (1991)
Starring: Bruce Willis, Damon Wayans, Danielle Harris, Noble Willingham, Bruce McGill, and Halle Berry
Director: Tony Scott
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Privvate detective Joe Hallenbeck (Willis) and his partner Mike (McGill) are hired to protect a stripper named Cory (Berry). When Mike is murdered in a car-bombing, and Cory is gunned down in the street, Joe teams up with Corey's boyfriend, a former pro-football player named Dix (Wayans) to uncover the reasons behind the killings. What they discover is that there is deep-seated corruption that infests both local politics and professional sports... and that the deaths of Mike and Corey are only the beginning.


"The Last Boy Scout" is a decent action movie with a script that has better dialogue than most, a superb cast, and a nice selection of subplots that humanize our heroes without slowing down the movie. Fans of the principle stars--Willis and Wayans--will enjoy their performances in this movie. General action fans should find it to their liking as well.

Given the love Hollywood has for sequels, I'm a bit surprised that we didn't get "The Last Boy Scout 2". The end of the film seems to beg for one, and it would be a lot easier to pull off than the sequels to "Die Hard".

Sherlock Sunday: Cushing's Final Bow

The Masks of Death (aka "Sherlock Holmes and the Masks of Death") (1984)
Starring: Peter Cushing, John Mills, Anne Baxter, Anton Diffring and Ray Milland
Director: Roy Ward Baker
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

An elderly Holmes (Cushing) and Dr. Watson (Mills) come out of retirement in the years just before the start of WWI to investigate two baffling mysteries that turn out to be related. Old friends also return, and Holmes may even get to have a rematch with The Woman as he tries to solve the mysterious deaths of five unconnected men in London and the disappearance of a German prince from a country estate.


Peter Cushing once again gives an excellent performance as Sherlock Holmes in what I like to pretend is his final role. He was dying even while making this movie, but he did not appear so frail so as to it being obvious, as he did in the few other film appearances he had after this one.

Cushing's Holmes is often gruff and cranky, but he remains charming and likable. John Mills also gives a good performance as his loyal assistant Watson, who is treated far better by both the actor and the script writers than he is in most adaptations; it is very clear in this film that Watson is only a dunce when compared to Sherlock Holmes.

This made-for-TV movie is an excellent Holmes adventure that captures the feel of Conan Doyle's stories like few attempts to bring Holmes to the screen have. It's also a reunion/farewell performance of sorts for actors and crew that were regulars on Hammer and Amicus productions, as it features several actors who were were regulars in those films and is directed by Roy Ward Baker.

"The Masks of Death" is, sadly, not available on DVD and long out of print on VHS. I hope that the Robert Downey Jr Holmes movies will cause whoever owns the rights to this one to release it on DVD.

'The Ladykillers' will slay you

The Ladykillers (1955)
Starring: Alec Guinness, Katie Johnson, Herbert Lom, Danny Green, Peter Sellers, Cecil Parker, and Jack Warner
Director: Alexander Mackendrick
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

The criminal mastermind nicknamed "the Professor" (Guinness) concocts the perfect robbery and perfect get-away plan. He had every angle covered... except for the X-factor of Mrs. Wilberforce (Johnson), a sweet little old lady whom he had cast as an unknowing accomplice, but whose sense of right and wrong and force of will proves to be more than a match for the Professor and his gang of cutthroats.


"The Ladykillers" is a comedy that's very simple in concept--five robbers struggle to avoid discovery and capture when their unwitting dupe becomes wise to their true activities--but its execution is so deft and so clever, and its cast so skilled at their craft that the film ends up as one of the funniest and most unpredictable crime comedies ever filmed.

Some of the humor arises from the fact that a gang of hardbitten criminals get squemish when it comes to harming a little old lady and that she is able to shame them into cooperating with her. However, much more comes from a constant stream of multi-layered sight gags and repeated reversals of audience expectations.

It's no surprise that the Professor and his gang ultimately fail in their dastardly schemes, but even this expected finale ends up being presented with a couple unexpected twists.

With a brilliant script, some very nice photography that takes full advantage of the setting around and atop King's Cross Station, and top-notch performances from a cast of truly great actors--with the interplay Alec Guinnes and Katie Johnson, and Guiness and Herbert Lom being particularly effective and funny--"The Ladykillers" stands as one of the greatest British comedies ever put on film.

Double Feature: The Miss Congeniality Saga

During the early 2000s, Sandra Bullock starred two movies as Gracie Hart, an FBI agent who went undercover as a beauty queen. Like the "Speed" movies in the 1990s, Sandra Bullock starred in one excellent film and then signed up for a sequel that was nowhere near as good. In this post, I review both of the "Miss Congeniality" films.



Miss Congeniality (2000)
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Benjamin Bratt, Michael Cain, Heather Burns, and William Shatner
Director: Donald Petrie
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

When an unknown madman threatens a beauty pagent, life-long tomboy FBI Agent Gracie Hart (Bullock) must master all the feminine graces and go undercover as a pageant participant to unmask the killer.

"Miss Congeniality" is a funny fish-out-of-water comedy, with the standard theme of characters who have their preconceived notions of each other (and even themselves) challenged and emerge at the end of the story having learned valuable lessons and gained a deeper understanding of themselves and everyone around them.


In the case of Gracie, she learns to embrace a part of herself that she's denied since she was a girl, and she learns to respect the hopes and dreams of those who might not want the same things she does. It's actually a rather touching transformation that the character undergoes, and it's a testament to Bullock's acting ability that Gracie comes across like a three-dimensional character in a movie that is otherwise populated with outrageous stereotypes and excuses for slapstick comedy. (And speaking of slap-stick, Bullock also displays a great talent for physical comedy in this film.)

Although Bullock is definately the star of the film, she is ably assisted by her co-stars and supporting players, all of whom put in excellent comedic performances (with the exception of Benjamin Bratt, who is the films only straight man... but he fills that role admirable). Bergen and Shatner are particularly fun as a pair of aging pageant organizers, and Caine is fantastic as the beauty expert tapped by the FBI to infuse Gracie with some grace.

"Miss Congeniality" is definately a comedy that's worth seeing.



Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous (2005)
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Regina King, Enrique Murciano, William Shatner, and Heather Burns
Director: John Pasquin
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

In "Miss Congeniality 2", Gracie Hart (Bullock), too famous for fieldwork after her adventure with the beauty pageant, and with slightly more refined manners, is tapped to be the FBI's "celebrity face". With her romantic life coming unglued for reasons she can't understand, she throws herself completely into the life of an empty-headed PR flack. But then two of the friends she made during the pageant caper (Shatner and Burns) are kidnapped, so she flies to Las Vegas in an unauthorized attempt to rescue them.


As much as I loved "Miss Congeniality", I find very little to recommend the sequel. The biggest problem is that everything that made Gracie Hart a likable and sympathetic character in the first film are absent for most of the sequel, because she spends most of the story playing at being someone she is not. It doesn't help matters that her new partner (King) is just plain obnoxious and completely devoid of any interesting character qualities.

With Bullock playing someone who is playing a lame character, we're left with the supporting cast for most of the laughs in the movie. Shatner and Burns (who spend most of the film tied up in a little shack) are very, very funny, and they're worth two of the tomatoes I gave the film. Likewise, Murchiano (best known for deadpan, ultra-serious performances on the crime drama "Without A Trace"), as a nebbish FBI Agent who learns to stand up for himself once Gracie rediscovers who she is, displays some fine comedic talent. However, everyone has limited material to work with, as the story is very flimsy.

I think all the performers do the best with what they have to work with, but it just isn't enough. The film has no heart, but just feels like a string of badly told, fairly tired jokes. Worse, Bullock and the Gracie Hart character are so badly wasted that this film almost makes one forget what was so charming and fun about the original "Miss Congeniality."

Lundgren looking toward the future?

The Russian Specialist (aka "The Mechanik") (2005)
Starring: Dolph Lundgren and Ben Cross
Director: Dolph Lundgren
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

When a retired Russian Special Forces officer (Lundgren) finds himself presented with the opportunity to take revenge against the gangsters who murdered his family, he becomes an unstoppable one-man army that takes no prisoners.


Dolph Lundgren is often mentioned by film snobs in a mocking tone and the same breath as in the stalled-out, over-the-hill action star Steven Seagal. However, "The Russian Specialist" proves that Lundgren is in a class far above Seagal. But this is very unfair to Lundgren, "The Russian Specialist" proves that he has both more talent and sense than Seagal.

Seagal is still making the sort of movies he made when he first started out, despite being fat, old, and apparently crippled (since he doesn't seem to do any of his own fight scenes anymore). Lundgren, on the other hand, seems to be phasing himself out of the "action star" lead roles, acknowledging the passage of time, and moving behind the camera and to less physical parts. It would be a shame if someone with the level of talent that Lundgren shows for directing, acting, and writing embarrasses himself the way Seagal has in his recent movies by not moving on.

Under Lundgren's direction, we have Ben Cross giving one of the best performances I've ever seen him do, and virtually every other cast member gives a performance that's surprisingly natural and completely believable. The muted color-schemes of the film helps underscore the general tone, and the somewhat slow pace of its middle section proves to be the perfect mood-setter for the astonishingly well-staged, bullet-ridden violence extravaganza during the last twenty or so minutes of the flick.

Lovers of action films and those who simply appreciate a well-made movie will like this film almost equally. There might even be a snob or two who might sneer just a little bit less when Lundgren's name comes up.

'The Devil's Own' is a movie he can keep

The Devil's Own (1997)
Starring: Harrison Ford and Brad Pitt
Director: Alan J. Pakula
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A New York cop of Irish background (Ford) becomes host to an IRA terrorist (Pitt) who is the United States to buy weapons.


"The Devil's Own" spends much of its time in an offensive romanticising of a filthy bunch of murderous terrorists. The ONLY thing this movie gets right about Northern Ireland, the IRA, and Americans of Irish heritage is that Americans of Irish heritage either were too stupid or intellectual lazy to see the IRA for what they rea,lly are. (My money's on intellectually lazy... because Americans of Arab background or the Muslim persuasion are as stupid about twisted freaks like Hamas as the Irish-Americans used to be about the IRA.)

While the film does have some nicely done action sequences, there is too much offensive pablum here for me to recommend even watching it for that. (And why couldn't Brad Pitt hold his accent for more than one or two lines? Did he really choose to badmouth the film before it came out because he knew that he sucked worse than the script he was performing?)

They CAN'T make them like they used to

The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)
Starring: Woody Allen, Helen Hunt, Dan Aykroyd, and David Ogden Stiers
Director: Woody Allen
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

An insurance investigator (Allen) becomes an unaware, remote-controlled jewel thief after a clever crook (Stiers) hypnotises him. To clear his name, he turns to a female executive at his firm (Hunt), but the situation only gets worse because she has also been hypnotized by the same crook.


"The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" features a screenplay that might have been written in 1939. The goofy comedy/mystery plot, the patter, the humor, the romantic entanglements, the pacing of the film... it's all a throwback to the period in which the story is set. Unfortunately, the one thing that isn't up to the cinematic period this film is a homage to is the acting.

Don't get me wrong. The acting here is decent enough for a modern movie, but it's not the kind of acting the script and the film needed (never mind that the director and screen writer are the same person). This material calls for talents like John Howard, Heather Angel, Cary Grant, Bud Abbott, and Katharine Hepburn. The problem is, there simply aren't actors like them anymore, although there are a small handful who come close. None are cast in the leads here, however.

"The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" tries to be a movie of the kind they, literally, don't make anymore. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

In the end, it's a film that Woody Allen fans will appreciate (I suspect... I'm not a big fan of his work myself, so it's hard for me to judge), but fans of the lighthearted mysteries from the 1930s and 1940s it's emulates (like me) will be disappointed, as the film is nowhere near as good as the potential in the script.

'Air Force One' features kick butt president

Air Force One (1997)
Starring: Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, Glenn Close and Grace Marshall
Director: Wolfgang Petersen
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

When the plane carrying the President of the United States (Ford) is hijacked by Russian nationalists who want to force the release of an imprisoned war criminal, the President escapes capture and sets about kicking some terrorist ass.


"Air Force One" is a great little action film that anyone who appreciates an exciting plot featuring terrorists getting whacked in hand-to-hand combat by an unlikely hero and an interesting cast of characters portrayed by talented actors.

Harrison Ford portrays the sort of president that I think every American deep down wishes we could have the helm of our country (but will probably never get) while Gary Oldman chews the scenery to pieces and just about steals the movie as one of the most vicious characters you'll ever love to hate.

All-star cast can't give this movie heart

Lies and Alibis (2006)
Starring: Steve Coogan, Rebecca Romijn, Sam Elliot, Henry Rollins, James Marsden, James Brolin, Selma Blair, and John Leguizamo
Directors: Matt Checkowski and Kurt Mattila
Rating: 5 of 10 Stars

Retired con-man Ray Elliot (Coogan) is running a successful business that establishes alibis and covers for husbands and wives who cheat on their spouses. It is a good life... until one of his clients (Marsden) murders his lover. Ray must find a way to deal with the police, the blackmailers, and even his own past when it comes back to haunt in him the form of eccentric assassin The Mormon (Elliot). To top off the total collapse of Ray's quiet retirement, he may be falling in love with his new executive assistant (Romijn).


"Lies and Alibis" is a light-weight comedy that follows the pattern of all good caper and "Big Con" movies. It's got a collection of fine actors, who each portray quirky characters (with Sam Elliot as the Latter-Day Saint polygamist assassin and his sidekick Henry Rollins; Brolin and Marsden as obnoxious wealthy father and son who make Elliot's The Mormon character look almost like a decent guy, because at least The Mormon seems to have some semblance of honor; and Leguizamo as an innocent bystander who gets caught up in the events, being the most fun to watch. Top-billed stars Coogan and Romijn are okay, and they play well off each other in the scenes they share, but it's the other cast members who make this movie entertaining.

I don't say this very often, but I think this film would have been better served if it had been ten or fifteen minutes longer. The perfect storm of Bad News that forms around Ray and his carefully constructed multi-layered con that ultimately extracts him from it, take so much time to set up that we only skim the surfaces of just about every character in the film. We gain some insight into Ray, but even though he's narrating events constantly, he still keeps most of his secrets from us. (This makes the twist ending to the film and Ray's final exit from his current life, a little bit of a cheat, even if it is set up in plain view as the final 15-20 minutes of the movie unfolds.) Everyone else, however, remain total mysteries, particularly Romijn's character, who is so ill-defined I can't even remember her name.

What we have here is a nicely executed bit of plot machinery, but the film has no heart.

"Lies and Alibis" is like those animatronic displays they used to have at Disneyland (and they may still... it's been 30 years since I've been there)... everything in it comes with perfect timing, but there's no humanity or personality here. Despite good performances by all the actors involved, despite a neatly executed caper and con-game plot, I still felt unsatisfied when the end of the movie came, because there was nothing to get involved with emotionally.

'Formula 51' doesn't work

Formula 51 (2002)
Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Carlyle and Emily Mortimer
Director: Ronny Yu
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

Elmo McElroy (Jackson) is a master chemist who has created the ultimate in "designer drugs." After screwing the State-side drug syndicate he had worked for, he dons a kilt and travels to Liverpool, England to sell his formula for $20 million. Here, everything that can go wrong does go wrong, and Elmo finds himself on the run from corrupt cops, dimwitted skinheads, and a mysterious assassin (Mortimer) who is intent on gunning down everyone around Elmo. Can Elmo and his one ally--low-rent hood and soccer fan DeSouza (Carlyle)--find a buyer who stays alive long enough to purchase Formula SoM-51?


"Formula 51" wants to be a crime comedy occupying the ground somewhere between "Snatch" and "Pulp Fiction." Unfortunately, it has a confused, messy script, characters who never rise above stupidly obnoxious or being total cyphers, and virtually every attempt at humor is either tired retreads of too-often-seen gags or simply unfunny. And then there's a fact that Jackson spends the whole movie in a kilt, something that the cast and crew seemed to think was the film's comedic highlight, but which is really just mystifying, slightly dumb, and the source of too many bad attempts at humor. There are a couple of mildly interesting story twists and several scenes with some good acting in them, but the bad far outweighs the good in this movie as it rushes from badly thought-out scene to badly motivated action sequence.

There's enough action in the film to keep the viewer entertained, but there are also too many characters in the film who are so dumb that one wonders how they dress themselves in the morning. And they're not dumb in the way they were in "Pulp Fiction" or "Snatch"... they're dumb in an eye-rolling, "okay, the writer thought this was funny and it might be if I was high or drunk, but in actuality it's just stupid" sort of way. There's also the issue of a subplot involving a corrupt cop so blatantly violent and corrupt that he wouldn't even a believable as a character in a film set in some third-world hellhole, let along England. The actors are all good--with Jackson and Carlyle playing nicely off one another--but the weight of the awful script keeps them from really accomplishing anything worthwhile.

Star-filled Christie adaptation is worth looking into

The Mirror Crack'd (1980)
Starring: Angela Lansbury, Geraldine Chaplin, Rock Hudson, and Elizabeth Taylor
Director: Guy Hamilton
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

When a harmless local from the English village of St. Mary Mead is murdered at a reception held in the honor of visiting Hollywood celebrities (Hudson and Taylor), only the keen mind of spinster detective Miss Marple (Lansbury) can separate the innocent from the guilty and solve a murder mystery with a motive rooted in the hazy past.


"The Mirror Crack'd" in one of the many star-filled Agatha Christie adaptations that were produced during the Sixties, Seventies, and Eighties... and this one has enough stars in it that even Carl Sagan would have been astonished. Even the supporting cast is made up of well-established actors, such as Tony Curtis, Kim Novak, Edward Fox, and Charles Gray.

The amazing collection of talent is supported by a well-written script, and the 105-minute running time of this very excellent example of a cozy mystery movie breezes by in what seems like no time. The spoofing of Hollywood stereotypes is well done in the film, with Taylor, Novak, and Curtis being particularly funny.

On the downside I don't think Lansbury made the best Miss Marple, but that's not so much a negative critique of her performance but a reflection of the fact I don't think she's right for the part; Lansbury simply doesn't have the sort of disarming and completely unassuming aura that a Miss Marple must excude. Lansbury isn't bad in the part, she's just miscast and therefore is doing as well as can be expected.

If you like these sorts of movies--be they Christie adaptations or originals--you'll find that "The Mirror Crack'd" is one of the better of its kind. The only truly bad part of the film is the musical soundtrack. I think the composer mistook St. Mary Mead for Chicago, and no one had the heart to tell him.

When Ninja Attack....

Mask of the Ninja (2007)
Starring: Bernice Liuson Sim
Director: Kevin Anderton
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

A Chinese secret agent (Sim), who has studied the ways of the Ninja, sees her skills put to the test when she is beset by enemies on all sides.

"Mask of the Ninja" is a three-minute short that's a hilarious spoof of martial arts movies. The filming and editing is nicely done, and the acting is also very nice. Of course, this is just a three-minute short, but it's so good that it leaves you wishing for more. Plus, it's guarenteed to make you laugh.

Watch the film yourself by clicking below!



A big "Thank You" to Vic Clay (who appears as one of the two bums at the very beginning of the film) for calling this film to my attention.

An Analytical Double Feature

Analyze This (1998)
Starring: Billy Crystal, Robert De Niro, and Lisa Kudrow
Director: Harold Ramis
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Billy Crystal stars as a successful psychiatrist whose life is turned upside down (not to mention endangered) when a hardboiled mob-boss (Robert deNiro) seeks him out for treatment of depression.


This movie is fun to watch as a spoof on mob films, and the way that Crystal and DeNiro's characters both learn about themselves as a result of their assocation is also a worthwhile element of the film. However, there is just a little too much crammed into the script, so some events seem to move too fast, and some supporting characters don't get enough exposure to bring their roles fully into focus.



Analyze That (2002)
Starring: Billy Crystal, Robert De Niro, and Lisa Kudrow
Director: Harold Ramis
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Billy Crystal, Robert Deniro, and the supporting cast all reprise their roles from Analyze This in this sequel of a rare breed... it's actually funnier than the original!

The story picks up a few years after the end of "Analyze This," as Crystal's character is called upon to cure reformed mob boss Paul Vitti (DeNiro) of an apparent mental breakdown and then help ease him into normal society as a law-abiding citizen. Can a nebbish psychiatrist reform a life-long criminal?


This is less of a mob-spoof than the orignal, and more about Vitti's attempt to extracate himself from his mob life and the interplay between Crystal and Deniro's characters. The film also features some funny self-referencial bits about Hollywood "mob realism" and a nicely done "caper" crime as Vitti seemingly returns to criminal life. On the downside, "Analyze That" suffers from some of the script weaknesses as its precessor--some elements and characters are annoyingly under-developed.